Emotions and Communication
Emotions are what drive us towards our peers, and they can be defined subjective states that trigger reactions reaction to either external or internal stimuli. On the other hand, these emotions should never be confused with feelings since these two terms form a distinct meaning and implications. Feelings tend to be brief while emotions have lasting impacts on the lives of individuals. Indeed, moods are strongly affected by our emotions rather than by our feelings.
Furthermore, emotions are also capable of affecting the physiology and behavior of the person experiencing them. For example, the emotion of fear can increase one’s blood pressure levels and in turn, lead to the secretion of adrenaline. Indeed, our behaviors are vastly determined by our emotions, and the way we respond to any stimuli corresponds with the emotional state of our mind. For instance, if one is fearful, he or she is most likely to stay away or hide from other people and avoid contact. On the other hand, if one is happy, he will tend to have greater conversations with others and seek contact with them. Pragmatically, our moral development is highly influenced by emotions. Take for example; if I angrily respond to violence against another person, I actualize violence as the right course of action whenever I am in disagreement with my peers.
Therefore, the points above serve to outline the role emotions play in our lives and personal experiences. The universality of emotion also makes it an interesting topic, since it has been known that even animals experience emotion. Principally, scientists recognize only six basic emotions which are universal and are experienced by people all over the world, irrespective of culture or race. These include the emotions of happiness, fear, surprise, disgust, anger, and sadness.
Identification of Two Emotions that are Difficulty for me to express and those that I find so hard to cope with
Pragmatically, not everyone finds it easy to express his emotions and feelings or having that urge to express themselves naturally. Various reasons have been put up to try to counter why most people find it difficult to come out and say how exactly they are feeling. Four reasons have been identified by researchers to be common bottlenecks to the communication of emotions. One of these feelings refers to social and cultural expectations, which is regarded as a key factor. For example, my society does not allow or expect a man to be emotional; men are supposed to be tough and strong. Therefore if a man becomes emotional or tends to show emotions towards someone or something, it is perceived as a sign of weakness. The second reason for this is said to be the protection of self.
Protection of other people is also another reason for this avoidance of communication of emotions. Moreover, protection of others simply entails the fear of upsetting or hurting others. Practically, this fear can be seen in instances where we are not honest with our emotions because when we do that, we risk making other people lose face.
We, therefore, feel obliged not to express feelings that might hurt others, as we feel it is the noble and most generous thing to do. The final reason is our social and professional roles. If our roles are inappropriate, we may not find it easy to express our emotions. For example, if one is a police officer and he or she sympathizes with a criminal, he may be termed as unprofessional. Also, if one is an attorney and he or she gets carried away by emotions maybe because of a sad story from a witness, he too will be termed as not being professional. These points, therefore, make our social or professional roles a hindrance when it comes to expressing our emotions and feelings.
With this regard, therefore, I personally also tend to find it difficult to express my feelings and emotions in certain scenarios. Love and anger are some of the two cardinal emotional feelings that I find very difficult to express before people. On the other hand, I would not like to experience the emotion of hatred and disgust directed at me from another person. Indeed, my reactions have remained constant to these emotions and regardless of any state that I might exhibit; the predominant reactions will always appear to discredit these emotions. Therefore, I tend to exercise restraint towards these feelings that are within my self-control, but react with fury whenever a person expresses disgusts and hatred towards me.
Discussion of Each of the four emotions above
Principally, I find it difficult to express the emotion of love, especially within the construct of a romantic relationship. Maybe it is because I am afraid of rejection or being disapproved. I feel deep inside me that people or someone would dislike me if I came out and expressed my feelings of affection towards them. I usually associate this with my ego which will elicit a huge blow if I get rejected. In fact, I have conducted myself with greater care and restraint towards making romance. Love is a gift that I believe should be exhibited unconditionally, but opposite love usually triggers sharp reactions and backlashes from the society. Therefore, in would prefer to keep my affection positively than to show it at the detriment of my personality.
Consequently, my reservation to showing love has a significant consequence to my character. Some people stereotype me on account of my reservation, and I must attest that my socialization with opposite sexes is so wanting. Moreover, the deplorable state of my socialization skills has left me with very few friends, who would accommodate my limits in love.
Anger is the second emotion that I find very hard to express. It gets even more difficult if the person is my senior or stronger than I. I am afraid that if I express my anger towards someone more powerful, then I might get punished. Practically, if I vent my anger towards my parents, I am afraid too that they might punish me by withdrawing the privileges they have awarded me. Privileges like monthly allowances, curfews or maybe sleepovers at my friend’s place. If I express anger towards my boss or supervisor, I am afraid I might get fired or get demoted. However, my personality has been likened by several people due to my resilience to anger. In fact, people wonder why I have such a big heart to accommodate insults, and never get angry. Besides, I always accommodate divergent views, even if they are critical to my personality.
Principally, I try as much as possible to conceal these emotions. For example, my hyperactive nature to love seldom comes out in me. In fact, I avoid situations that could lead me into such circumstances by avoiding unnecessary contacts with opposite gender. On the other hand, I prevent undue advantages from people who might be too offensive of my resilience to anger by keeping calm and not associating with such personalities.
However, I express these emotions indirectly to individuals who take undue advantages of me. For example, I appear harsh when an opposite gender approaches me with very suggestive talks. Besides, I show some seriousness when an individual provokes me. I think there is no way that I should change these emotions since they have desisted wearied situations from happening to me.
With regards to my emotional habits, I attest that I sometimes fail to listen and accommodate people on the precept of love and anger, while critical listening and communication skills require greater diversity and accommodation of people. Indeed, one needs to be skilled at listening to peoples’ feelings and also giving appropriate responses. This is an important skill not only in the personal relationships but also in other forms of relationships like workplace relationships (Wood, & Schweitzer, 2016). Responding to other people when they express their feelings using general statements does not help. Instead, it tends to suggest that you are not being bothered by their emotions, or that they should not possess the feelings. Eventually, this tends to have an adverse effect on peoples’ interpersonal relationships. In this regard, the difficulty experienced in an expression of the emotions of anger and love tend to have the above effect.
The narrative above has catapulted me to a series of mood swings and attitude changes whenever I am subjected to varied states that would illicit reactions. Therefore, I find it hard, or rather very difficult to entertain certain behaviors that provoke my emotion, and unique illicit reactions in me. The society I have grown up in has had a great impact in this case. The societal stereotypes and expectations cannot allow me to show this emotion. As a man, one is expected to be strong in body and mind. Therefore, any stress and troubles I have, I am supposed to bear them silently and not share them. Exposing them will depict me as a weakling, and that would do me little favors.
Emotions that are Difficult for me to deal with others express
Ideally, it is so difficult for me at times to deal with emotions directed towards me by others. For instance, I find it difficult to handle when one shows hatred at me. If someone gets malicious and decides to direct his or her hatred towards me, it brings along that feeling of guilt which I do not like. Also, his invocations would lead to confrontations which are usually unhealthy for relationships between and among people (Wood,& Schweitzer, 2016). Besides, it is generally challenging and strange when people express disgust towards me. Indeed, disgusts are challenging to tolerate and accept. Showing disgust offends me, and this paradoxical reaction tends to be largely unconscious (Wood,& Schweitzer, 2016). On the other hand, simple compliments tend to arouse a feeling of happiness towards the person who offers it. This situation could be because it arouses some positive anxiety since it tends to encourage some long-standing psychosocial invocations.
The various emotions which I find difficult to express may have an impact on my interpersonal relationships. I tend to conceal my reactions to disgust and hatred expressed against me by other people. Therefore, instead of the reaction to disgust and hatred, I reciprocate by exhibiting mercy and forbearance. For instance, instead of exchanging high tones with these people, my positive emotions prevail. Body language and non-verbal communication are far more important whenever I want to counter an expression of disgust and hatred. I, therefore, tend to be non-expressive, meaning one is not able to clearly figure out how I am feeling (Wood, & Schweitzer, 2016).
As stated earlier, it is usually difficult when others try to express their feelings and emotions towards me. Whenever someone expresses their emotions of hatred towards me, it arouses some levels of sadness and painful feelings from the past. Negative responses are mostly returned, because of the fear of being hurt the same way I have been hurt before. In the case of disgust being directed towards me, I unconsciously change the topic to something else. Ideally, this is usually in a bid to avoid a confrontation. In the case of encounters, there is always a high possibility of loss of mutual respect and harmony (Wood, Julia and Schweitzer, Ann 2016).
In conclusion, emotions and communication is an aspect of our daily life and therefore becoming an important issue. During the assignment, I have been through a process of self-realization, which has entailed a deep examining, discovery, and understanding of my inner self. Besides, doing this assignment has enabled me to understand the theoretical framework that aligns with my emotional feelings, as well as my reactions to other people’s emotions. Pragmatically, this assignment is worth the time and learning achieved through its manifestations of emotions and reactions.
Wood, J. T., & Schweitzer, A. (2016). Everyday encounters: An introduction to interpersonal communication. Fifth Canadian Edition, Nelson, Thomas, Learning : Nelson Education.